Four things I learned in forty years of sobriety

Four things I learned in forty years of sobriety

At the tender age of twelve, I was tending bar at a wedding. The regular bartender had given up and turned the responsibility over to me. At six feet tall, buying beer was never a problem, but this bartending responsibility opened up a whole world of new ways to destroy myself.

Drinking at every opportunity and aggressively seeking out those opportunities became my obsession. Within five years, I found myself sitting in an AA meeting, thinking, is there anyone under thirty here? There was a guy thirty-two who became my sponsor.

The first five years were different, I saw many women join AA and were part of one of the first “Young Peoples Group” in my area. I enjoyed the fellowship but didn’t get into the steps or personal development. Needless to say, drinking was in my future. When the floodgates opened, it was a fast burn to the bottom.

Blackouts, motorcycle accidents, the inability to hold even the simplest type of employment, and my burning obsession with alcohol lead me back to the doors of AA. With a renewed focus on keeping an open mind and working on the steps, I managed to cobble together forty years. A few things worked for me that might help someone else.

1. Length of sobriety is not very important; see point #2

2. The floor may not really be lava, but alcohol is poison. At least for me, I have no problem with other people drinking (except for the occasional obnoxious drunk), but for me, the use of any mood-altering substance will set me back on the path to destructive drinking.

3. Stay in the moment. This is the essence of the “One Day at A Time” slogan in every meeting room I found. Yesterday and Tomorrow are beyond my control.

4. “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps….” The spiritual awakening part is key. If I never have to listen to another dead-spirited booze battling drunk-a-log, that will be ok.

I don’t go to meetings anymore, my sponsors have all passed on, yet I am happily sober and enjoying life. Will that always be the case? Point #2 Stay in the moment. I have had the bejesus scared out of me by drunk dreams. That doesn’t happen much anymore. I have made it through numerous life disappointments, death, job loss, and business failure, and still, a practical spiritual foundation that I found in AA keeps me sober and happy.

It took me from age twelve to thirty before I came to believe that a sober life could be part of my reality. At seventy, some of my best years are still to come, god willing.